Why In The World?

     Why in the world, would a father not know the names of the school his children attend?
There are some questions that I would like to ask the women that are around these men.
Do you know if he is in touch with his children; do you know if he is providing for his children consistently; do you know if he is aware of the state of their health, do you know if he knows? Are you now married to him and not asking about his children from his previous relationship?
     If you are a sister, mother, sister in-law, friend, new wife/girlfriend, cousin or grandma etc to any man; please ask him regularly about his children. Please do hold him accountable every time you see him.
     I know it sounds odd, let me expand. I have seen this happen with men who are no longer with the mothers of their children. They have no clear concrete knowledge or current information on their children. They know the airy fairy stuff. The things that keeps the mother of their children up at night are not jointly dealt with. This is still ignored sometimes even if the mother has conveyed the concerns. Please do not relief yourself of your responsibility; by saying you are praying about it. 
     What you need to remember is that, the issue you had/have is between you and the mother. The issue is not between you and the child/ren that you both produced and are both responsible for.
While the mother might be the primary carer in most of the cases, it is still your responsibility to do and know somethings consistently about your own children. In fact, don't wait till you are told, please ask and follow up. The fact that your children don't live with you does not exonerate you from your fatherly roles and expectations.
     IT IS DISGRACEFUL IF YOU DO NOT KNOW THE NAMES OF THE SCHOOL YOUR CHILDREN ATTEND!!!
     Talk to your children, choose whatever is regular for both of you. Do it consistently even when it is not convenient. You would never get this time in their lives again. Challenge the norm.
Please stop believing the lie that; when they get older, they would look for you. They might, but the possibility of having a deep and meaningful bond with them is extremely slim. Do your part now, now that you are alive and well. Do your part consistently, no matter how small. Let them know, that this is the one thing that I do with my father. Own this moment!
     Please, ladies around our men; challenge the men you know and love. Please do not be an ENABLER of the wrong that you know and see. Find the courage to SPEAK UP  to your brother, uncle, friend, father, grandpa, brother in-law or new husband/boyfriend/bae.
I used the above as an example, but there are many other things that you need to be involved with. Do not leave it to chance or solely to their mother. We are in an age where there is truly no excuse not to keep and stay in touch with your own children. If you don't know, ask a friend.
Women challenge your men. Women speak up. Women do not enable what is not right. A fellow woman had his child. 
Men challenge yourselves. Men step up to the game. Men can be intentional fathers too.
Together we can. Something has to give. 

Enough said.
Truly, 
Modupe

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